If your self- love is conditional upon looking a certain way, doing certain things and having certain stuff, then you are limited to the ceiling that you have created for yourself. Your greatest limiting factor is your judgement for yourself- whatever you reject or dislike. You are limited by whatever you believe makes you unworthy or less lovable. If our worth depends on the external, you will never feel you have or are enough because you will easily want the next best thing. You may put your self-love and happiness on hold for an imagined future by telling yourself things like “I will love myself when…” or “I will be truly happy and at peace when…”
However, when self-love is unconditional, it’s not dependent on what you achieve, the way you look, how much money you make, or what you have. It is despite all of this. We don’t need to qualify for it because it does not come from the outside, but from deep within.
But how can you practice self-love for those aspects of your self that you dislike, reject or judge?
Even though it is hard, these are the aspects of your self that need the most love. We can see these areas as opportunities for growth, to practice self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. We can become the nurturing father or mother that we need for ourselves by choosing love. This is a decision we are capable of making at any moment. Choosing love over judgment. Choosing love over hatred. Choosing love over fear.
Try to identify what you love least about yourself because that is where your self-love ceiling is. Whether that is your jealousy, your thighs, your nose, or your anger, observe as it arises and try to choose love over judgment or fear. You create your own limit, but you can also raise the bar for your own self-love to uplevel and rise to your highest and fullest potential.